This article is for entertainment only. I am not a lawyer. I am an idiot who knows nothing about the law. If you were to follow any of the ideas raised in this article then you are an idiot. I wrote this story from my bitter and twisted divorce experiences and added to it with a liberal lather of fiction. So you must accept that these are ramblings, opinions, ideas, dreams and fiction of an insane man and must be treated the same. You must not consider any piece of this article as legal advice in any way shape or form. That’s what lawyers are for. If you need a lawyer, look in the yellow pages.
Did you know, women really are evil.
I know It sounds absurd – But take it from me and the thousands of divorced men who found out the hard way – Women really are evil.
Unlike the movies, you cannot spot their degree of evilness easily. You cannot spot it when you are courting them, nor when you pop the question or say I do.
What may surprise you is that you cannot even spot it after you are married. The only time you will see the true nature of your be troth’s evil is during your divorce. Their evil breath will tear the flesh from your bones like a modern day dragon.
All married people must understand this – you will get divorced.
Unless you are some kind of superman it is going to happen to you.
Current US statistics show that 67% of marriages will fail. The mathematical odds are that you will be getting divorced.
So if you are not yet divorced, you better start planning it. I hope that day never comes for you, but if I was able to tell you that the odds of you getting cancer and dying are 67% what would you do about it ? I have to believe that you are going to try to stop smoking, exercise more, drink large amounts of OJ, healthy diet and generally enjoy life more and maybe , maybe – you have a chance of beating it.
So what does the average man do in reaction to learning that the odds are that he will be divorced – usually nothing – sometimes something, always too late. Schmuck.
US divorce law is woefully outdated.
It dates from a time when man went to work and little women stayed at home. The law is from a time when women were not allowed to vote and were kept as chattels by their owners, their husbands. Times and people have changed drastically, but the law remains in its antiquated form. To be more precise, the law has degenerated into becoming clearly anti-man. It almost always favors the woman at divorce. She is favored to care for the child. She is seen as needing money to keep herself regardless of whether you have children or she has a job. The state sees her as needing protection. She needs to be protected from the cock. Now, this really is absurd.
The divorce is a war.
As in any war let us first understand who the enemy combatants are and what are the terms of this war.
What are the goals of the combatants ?
The enemy is clearly indicated – Its obviously women and they are more often than not the complainant in a divorce hearing.
The defendants are Men and usually have the most to lose so the word “defense” is quite apt.
The armies are the lawyers and the battleground is mostly outside the court room.
Let us understand the enemy a little better. The enemy is not your regular Iraqi conscripts – no sir – these are intelligent and wily combatants, spies as it were – who have been operating behind enemy lines for some time – usually many years, without blowing their cover. The IRA did the same thing in the UK for many years – they would send in “Sitters” to the United Kingdom, who would build in a life in the new country, sometimes ten or twenty years would pass and they would have no contact with their violent cohorts of old. Then, one night, they would be called upon for terrorist activities, if they refused their family would be shot.
There are many some strong parallels to be drawn between a terrorist organization and an estranged wife, neither will stop until their mission is successful.
So the estranged wife knows your every move, your every weapon and your every weakness. They also know the location of your military and civilians. They know just how you will react to given situations and they are going to use all of this knowledge to their advantage in their campaign against you.
The enemy has a their mercenary, the gun for hire as it were, the attorney.
Now understand the attorney has nothing personal against the husband, they are merely professionals at work – They only make money at an hourly rate, so it is in their interests to prolong this war as long as they can. Every attorney has the Hundred Years War in mind when they pick up a new case. They will examine the case it for all its worth (Intelligence being supplied by the enemy) and assess how much financial damage their enemy can take, before it surrenders. But they cannot force a surrender too soon, otherwise the billable hours will be too low and this opportunity must not be squandered. So begins their long drawn-out game of war. There is no Geneva convention here, nothing to save you.
One statistic I have always wanted to know is what the suicide rate is during divorce for men and what is for women.
I haven’t been able to find out the statistic (It may not exist) , but if that study was ever conducted – I just know that men would be the loser, and not by a little either.
It amazes me why men still get married.
They really don’t get anything out of marriage – other than regular sex and some companionship.
When that disappears (As it often does) they are left with nothing.
Men are just not cut out for the war of divorce that follows marriage.
The enemy, it seems, are perfect naturals.